February 28, 2009
I was in our office room, which is really an upstairs bedroom in our little house. (Incidentally, this bedroom used to be Beth’s then Adri’s when we roomed together) For some reason, although I had been in that room a million times, I noticed a tiny door about the size of an eve door jutting off of the wall. (In real life, the wall this door was attached to is the outer wall of the house, in NO WAY could anything exist on the other side of it unless it’s hidden under the siding) I opened the door and discovered that it led into a hallway with five steps leading down into it so that a person could stand up without hunching over. At the end of the hallway was a regular-sized door. I walked through the hall and opened the door to find the hidden attic that Adri and I always joke about. (We joke about a hidden attic in real life). The attic was really split into two rooms, one that was the height of a regular room, with curved edges at the ceiling (like many attics) and had another room that was adjacent to it. This second room (Room #2) was similar to another type of attic architecture. It had slopping, unfinished ceilings that came down in the shape of a triangle. The ceiling was much lower, and an average person would have to stoop to enter and walk around. I spent a good amount of time just exploring both of the rooms. The first room had an old washing machine and dryer that were filled with standing water. I thought that Carol must have used them about three years ago and that they were probably broken now. There was also a large mop bucket filled with standing water, a pantry with screws, old food from the 50s, and telephones in it. There were a lot of birds nests with unhatched eggs in them piled in a wooden wall alcove next to Room #2’s door. I wondered where the birds had went and why the birds had abandoned their eggs – which looked very old. Room #2 had very little in it except for a few dead birds. That’s where the birds must have gone… they died and so, therefore, their eggs never hatched in all their years in that dusty attic…
*Notes: I woke up from this dream completely content. Sometimes, my dreams cause me to wake up horny, sad, in a panic, or about ready to throw up. I woke up with this amazing fulfilled feeling that continued the entire day… actually, it continued for a few days. I think this may be because of my weird fetish with abandoned buildings and going in them!
Adri and I actually joke about a hidden attic in the little house. We actually think that you can access it on the outside of the house by climbing up the slanted part in the roof. It would be above my old bedroom (now our closet room) we believe that this is possible because there’s a different type of siding in the shape of a rectangle on that side of the house. It has ridges on it, which makes it look like you could lift it up like a garage door.
The thought I had about Carol using the washer and dryer was incorrect. Apparently, I cannot do math in my dreams… I can’t in real life either though. But, three years ago from the date of the dream would have been – Feb. 28, 2006. At that time, our technical landlord Carol would have been in the hospital. That year was Adri’s first year in the house and as my roommate and my second year living in the house. The first year living there, I roomed with Beth. So, if Carol would have ever actually used that fictional washer and dryer set, it would have actually been about 4 years and 5 months previous to the date of the dream, not three years.
6 comments:
you use the room as an office because it is your extra room, the "other" room, the room that has continually been the home of the "other" contained within the walls of your own home, we live vicariously through our roommates, complete empathy yet definitively separate, possibly too much exposure to the living rituals of another, yet still an "other", the rhythm of life through thin walls. The outer room in your dream (the room that physically exists) is the home of the "other" in you, there is someone inside you that is NOT the wildly unique eccentric that we all know and love, this entity is the "other" in you, this is the string that keeps the kite from being lost in the wind, despite how far we can outdo ourselves, it never seems to mean anything unless there is an "other" to witness our triumph, the "other" within is the witness, the judge, and the benchmark of the self, do not be surprised to find a secret door within the "other" within the self, this is a passage that only appears when you are in your deepest empathy with an other, when we rise above the self to become one with the "other" within, a new portal opens to a deeper place, we step down to a level between the other and the self, through a secret passage between the world of the "other" within to a realm that is universal to ALL human minds throughout time, this "collective unconscious" space holds the most powerful archetypes representing the most powerful of human roles, from birth through death, you consider the primal drive to propagate as unwelcome expectations of womanhood, you find this room as the ultimate symbol of slave-like adherence to the primordial feminine role of procreator, the dungeon of a 1950's housewife (her laundry room and pantry), for you, this is a dusty room from someone else's past, you have chosen not to live here, you move on to find another door, outside of the door you find the most literal reference to our species #1 expectation, eggs in nests, procreation, but you and your husband decided to fly off, and leave these expectations behind, leaving the eggs unhatched, leaving the superficial room that facilitated these supposed requirements, the two of you flew into a deeper realm, deeper into the heart of the needs of the human soul, the need to find our unique personal fulfillment, this rustic natural chamber has a peaked roof like a reliquary that mirrors the chapel that mirrors the heavens, where you find limitless adventure and mystery until two spiritually fulfilled birds fall to the floor after blessed life has left them, the chamber deepest within housed the entire universe, this dream was emotionally experienced as affirmation of your life choices, thus, your profound and lasting feeling of complete contentment.
I think that this is one of the most truthful (yet most insane) analyzable of one of my dreams. Instead of psychotic artist you should call yourself psychologist artist.
Points I agree with strongly: the aversion to the room because it was always a roomate's bedroom... so instead of a bedroom it's an office, how the other room is 'within a realm that is universal to all human minds throughout time' containing within it the archetypes of human roles (womanhood, 50's housewife, childbearing)... and I specifically LOVE the explanation of why the eggs are unhatched in the first room.
However, I see a sad ending to the birds that left their nests, they are in the solitary Room #2, dead.
So, the birds went to a deeper place, but then... they still died...
What does it mean?
Does it mean that in the end, we all still die no matter our decisions? No matter what we do, we still plod onward up a hill toward the same fate... the same fate that, no matter how many 'different' choices we make to single ourselves out as individuals in an individualistic society we still have NO CHOICE but to die at some point... so, we have two things 100% common with everyone (even the people we don't have common ground with ;) )... Everyone has been born. Everyone will die.
NICE! -the morbid comfort that no matter what decisions we make everyone winds up dead in the end. I guess I intentionally tried to bullshit some optimism into the story by imagining the birds isolation within the core chamber as a subduing of their physicality, liberating their spirits to fly in an infinite realm beyond, the tail of my analysis did seem forced. Romance trumps logic when passion reigns.
but... death IS the beyond! There are thousands of hypotheses of what happens when we die. There is no certainty, only hope of adventure in the beyond...
and, while our spirit is 'possibly' in the beyond or lingering here... we will be absorbed into the earth and reclaimed by it... (or upcycled)
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