WhiskHairs

I woke up, got out of bed, and noticed that I had cat whiskers for leg hair. They were as long as whiskers - 2-3 inches long and clear like fiber optic strands.

Psychic Pitcher Reader

I was in a psychic's house, and she was going to read my future through her own version of tea leaf reading. The process was different, but she had a pitcher with layers inside that had holes in them that sat on top of a tablecloth made out of a layer spread out paper towel sheets. She would ask me to drink some green Scope mouthwash out of a large shot glass, swish it around, and then spit it into the pitcher. Then the pitcher's layers and holes would filter it through to the bottom and it would drip onto the paper towels and spread across. When all the Scope filtered through to the bottom and onto the paper towels, she would read the paper towel blotches and decipher my future. I followed the instructions once, but there was so much saliva in my mouth that it caused the Scope to filter through the pitcher and spread so far across the paper towels on the table that it spilled over the side. I had to do this several times because somehow something kept messing up. The last time, it went well, but my mouth was so dry that when I spit the Scope back out into the pitcher it was more like half-solid jello and I felt like I had some extreme cottonmouth. It took a very long time to filter through, and barely any of it did because it congealed at the holes in the pitcher. She was about ready to read my future based on what made it to the paper towel, and I was wondering about the accuracy of the reading because of the state of the Scope mouthwash that I spit out... I woke up before she could read me my future.


Notes: I was talking about the dentist yesterday or the day before... and I also talked about spitting ink once in undergrad for an abstract art assigment. That's all I have to represent where this could have come from.

My 1/2 Ethnic Baby

I was at someone's house in NYC. This older, heavy, woman came up to me and handed me a baby. She said "Congratulations, it's a girl." I didn't remember being pregnant at all. I also didn't remember having unprotected sex with someone either. I took the baby, held it, and looked at it. I realized right away that it was definitely half of me, and then remembered giving birth earlier that day. Then I realized that it was definitely half of another race - non white. Then I was really confused. Who the hell fathered this baby? And why couldn't I remember having sex with them? At first I thought that the baby was half African American. I hung out at this house for a while, feeling like absolute crap - who fathered this kid? And why didn't I know I was pregnant until today? Then, I looked down at the baby again, and thought that she looked Asian, not African American. Then, later, I thought she looked partially Indian. I sat her down, and wandered around this house for a while wondering what to do because I am in school. I didn't know how I was going to take care of her, and then I decided that I should give her up for adoption because I couldn't love her. I took her, and snuck out of the house so the family living there wouldn't know what I was going to do. When I exited, I was outside at the airport taxi area of Laguardia. I started trying to hail a cab.

Cupless/Crotchless

I was with a friend. We wanted to go swimming and stopped at a bathing suit shop, but all they sold were crotchless bathing suits. My friend picked up one with fringes and wanted me to buy it. He kept saying that, with my legs, I would totally rock it. I kept saying no, but every time I looked down at the bathing suit and then up at him, he would be wearing an article of female clothing: tights, high heels etc., until he was almost completely dressed as a woman.

Vampires and Cat Pee...

Vampires came over my house and were hanging out in my room. At first, I thought they were just regular people. When I found out that they were vampires, I asked them if they could smell any cat pee. They could not.

Robot Chicken//Whipped Cream

I was a blond girl – a naked plastic Robot Chicken puppet with a plastic yellow ponytail. I was in the woods with another naked, male, Robot Chicken puppet that had dark brown hair. I was holding a broom stick handle and looking at him. I hit him across the face with it. He got turned on by it and started hitting me back. Suddenly, I was watching this as if I were watching Robot Chicken. They kept hitting each other in the bushes and saying things like “Oh yeah, you like that?” etc., and then whipped cream simultaneously exploded from their Barbie-like crotch areas... Then they took out low-fi fake looking cardboard cameras and started taking pictures to keep for later.

Why Did You Give Me This? It Needs To Go To The Vet!

I walked out of my bedroom into the staircase room. Chris was in there holding a large paper bag and explained that it was a gift for me. He also said that it was something he found outside. I opened it and dumped out a little kitten that was extremely sick. It had patches of fur missing and looked like it would have to be put to sleep. I said: “Why did you give me this? It needs to go to the vet!” I put it down and it started wandering around the apartment. I was afraid of getting a disease.

*I think I had this dream because I have been thinking of bringing my cat, Fed Ex, to NYC... (which is now going to happen!)

Dimensional Guitars

It was Friday night. Mike and I met up and were going to go to a bar to hang out. We got there, and I met some guy… who I took back to my apartment to hang out with. He saw the guitar in my room, one that Jasper had let me borrow. The guy I brought back said he was going to show me something interesting. He grabbed my hand and sort-of jumped down the neck of the guitar along the strings then into the sound hole. Suddenly, I was in this other world that was an alternate dimension and existed alongside ours but without any NYC buildings. The guy that jumped in with me had changed. He was a tall, skinny, female alien. S/he told me that I was brought there to be impregnated so I could continue their alien race. She was the only female alien left and all the thousands of others there were male. I started freaking out and tried to get back out the way I came, but I couldn’t leave the alternate dimension through the guitar… so I started wandering around and avoiding the aliens. I walked up on a hill, and suddenly felt this breeze around my knees that felt like really cold February air. I bent down and found that there was an invisible hole that led back into my dimension. I could also feel an invisible door that could shut it too, but it didn’t have a handle. Once it was shut it could never be opened. I escaped through the tiny doorway, which was about the size of an eave doorway in an attic. I ended up coming out of a small cellar door onto a side of a hill with my apartment building to it’s left. I called Mike over and explained to him what happened. He asked me to show him how to get into the guitar, and I did. We crossed over into the other dimension, which caused Mike to turn into a solid navy-blue alien because he’s male. The others were all variants of many colors, so I could tell Mike apart from the crowds. I couldn’t get him through the invisible door for some reason so I had to leave him there to find more help. I noticed that it was snowing in NYC, and the snow was entering the invisible doorway and collecting near the entrance. I thought that maybe the alien that tricked me into coming there would find the invisible door outlined with snow and shut it, that way Mike and I could be stuck there forever. I left him to guard it and went back into our dimension. Jasper came over and I tried to explain to him how Mike was stuck in the other world and how we got there through the guitar. He didn’t believe me, so I told him to look out the apartment window and watch the cellar on the hill. I put my arm into the guitar’s sound hole and it appeared as though it was coming out the cellar door. I waved my hand frantically to prove my point. Jasper still didn’t believe me and thought I was messing with him. He thought my trick was amazing and wanted to know who was hiding in the cellar and synchronizing their arm movements with mine. I explained again how the guitar and cellar worked and showed him by throwing a pill bottle into the guitar’s sound hole. The pill bottle flew out of the cellar door and landed on the hillside. He still thought it was an amazing trick and still didn’t believe me. I asked him what I could possibly put through the hole that would convince him. He happened to have a different guitar and told me that he would believe me if I could get the neck of the guitar he brought to come out of the cellar. I did just that and he was finally convinced.



**the photo is Lauren Chester's from: http://artemer.wordpress.com/